These are but vain attempts to express, by one who wears her heart on her sleeve. Words, much like love, can be ever elusive... ever frustrating... like trying to paint a million stories on a single canvass. If you will read, please do not ask. Just feel. Or at least try to. The meaning is, whatever you have felt to be there, or the lack thereof :)

By tomorrow.

remembering "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon

Turn back
Don’t go searching
For angels that won’t return
Because you never really believed them to be there
Nor paid enough attention to see them
Passing by

So much for everything
All that had meant so much
And nothing
All that ever was but had never been
Not really

'Rigrrette Rien!'
Just try to look forward to tomorrow
Make-believe that there never was a past
Coz it died with someone’s faith;
With someone’s dreams

Believe these things to be true
For only then could you hope to
Escape the ghosts
That soon would come back

6:03 pm
October 30, 2003


Him  that I love, I wish to be
Free - Even from me.
(Anne Morrow Lindbergh)


Let me let go
I don’t want to be the one
To have to hold you back
from what you should be
Go on and take what you can from the world
But first, release me from your memory

I’d gladly give you my angel’s wings
And anything else that would allow me to see
You soaring high into the clouds;
Running wild.

So let me let go.
Tell me to move on
Leaving you to your precious liberty
Won’t matter if you ask nicely
Or just push me away
As long as it’s clear
In your life I can no longer stay

Let me let go.
Don’t kill me with your silence.
For once, just be everything that is brave and true.
For you to say that you need me no more
Is all that I am asking of you.

4:03 am
October 29, 2003


I am not
Some fallen autumn leaf
Or stray weed
That you can sweep
Or pull out
And then throw away into
You called me a FRIEND
You LOVED me once
Or was it all really in the past tense?

How could you have made me feel
So precious
And now so unwanted…
Like crumpled paper that you might as well just toss away
But not really.

4:30 am
October 26, 2003

Deal !

TALK. Don’t hold them in.
Your unspoken words, they suffocate.
Reach beyond the space between.
Express yourself. COMMUNICATE.

You’re too selfish to share the pain.
Chose to wait ‘til all’s grown rotten.
You’re destroying others with your hurt.
You so rejoice in feeling broken.

Damn the world to your heart’s content
If it’s the only way you can feel better.
Just don’t choke us with your
unexpressed hatred.
Your isolation is one sure killer.

12th October 2003
*for an angry friend

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