These are but vain attempts to express, by one who wears her heart on her sleeve. Words, much like love, can be ever elusive... ever frustrating... like trying to paint a million stories on a single canvass. If you will read, please do not ask. Just feel. Or at least try to. The meaning is, whatever you have felt to be there, or the lack thereof :)

To write.

Its quite a struggle to voice it all out.
Its quite a struggle to voice it all out.
To eloquently express what you think
And what you feel
Using a few choice words
For there never are enough.

And you’ll find that most often than not
That screaming li’l pipsqueak you have within
Has a lot to say.
Has so much wisdom to impart
And a great deal of messages to convey.

Often you’ll end up frustrated
Wishing it’ll just shut up
Coz your finest quality pen ink
had become blotty
And that special stationery had wrinkled
With you having written

15th December 1999

For "casper"

Who are you unknown entity?
You’ve had me intrigued for so long.
Your identity’s a well-kept secret
Yet you’re always in my brother’s poem and song?

Was it because of you that he’s been
One heck of an idler nowadays?
He’s gone so far from the industrious chap I knew
And that was ‘til in his thoughts you occupied a place.

One consolation at least is the fact
That the ‘feeling’ you mutually share
But may I remind you that you’re both still too young
And so you must exercise great care.

And one more favor, could you please
Inspire him to be the best that he can be.
Befriend, and help, and guide him,
And by the by, earn approval from me.

 1999 October 26

Sa mga magigiting na anino ng gabi

Mga inspirasyon,
Nakatutlig ang mga taghoy na umaalingawngaw mula pa sa pusod ng gubat
Subalit mukhang iilan pa rin lang ang nagakaririnig,
Huwag nawa kayo’ng panghinaan ng loob.
Bagkus ay sibulan pa ng panibagong pag-asa
Pagka’t tiyak na ‘di magllalao’t ang mga anasa’t paghikbi’y magiipon-ipon
At tila tunog ng trumpeting papailanlang sa papawirin,
Maririnig saanmang sulok,
Uulit-ulitin ng gabi,
At ibubulong ng hangin sa mga nahihimbing pang mga damdamin.

Marami kaming kaisa ninyo.
Hindi man kasing tapang sa pag-akap ng armas sa ngalan ng kalayaan at prinsipyo,
Sa mga munti naman naming paraa’y nakikipaglaban din
Upang kahit papaano’y maibsan
Ang bigat ng dalahing matagal nyo nang ikinasusubasob.

Kapatid, kapwa, kasama…
Tanggapin nawa ninyo ang aming pagpupugay
At panalangin
Na siya lamang naming maipagkakaloob.
Pakatandaang tulad ninyo,
Marami rin ang naghihintay at umaasa
Na sa pinakamadaling panahon
Ay muling sisikat ang tunay na ginintuang umaga.

29th September 1999


You came at a time of deluge
And your arrival only added to the confusion and

Of my poor, wretched heart
How am I to know
If this feeling I have for you is for real?
I have felt danger
For you’ve been constantly on my mind
Distracting my thoughts
And I hate you for it.

I can’t let myself fall.
I can’t afford to coz I’m too scared.

Stop invading my thoughts.
Cease pestering my heart.
I just can’t let you in –

1999 September 12
 * exaggeration ng isang crush - kay A.B. Enrado, klasmeyt sa KAS I


The book of the fallen

Dedicated: the project

Observing Ma'am Lara

Can I write without thinking?
Can I listen without hearing?
If I heard, did I understand?
And if I understood, is that ‘comprehending’?

For what purpose
Should I do these things?"

*Lecture notes in Comm1

17th August 1999

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